Where am I going...how did I get here.

Long time no see. Life happening...life changes, you know. Last I updated I was divorced. Well, I'm still divorced, but I guess I'm a widow as well. A tragic widow my friend calls me. I met an amazing man. Last October. We clicked. It was perfect. Our boys said they were stepbrothers already. His son asked me to be his stepmom in February...that was my proposal T said.

April 1, 2010...my favorite day ever. April Fools Day. Plans had changed, T was coming over that night after little B went to bed. T had plans to take a ride on his motorcycle and then was going to come over. He never made. Three exits from the exit to my place, a Ford Ranger hit him. The guy ran over his abdominal area. T was talking and trying to get up at the scene. Once he got the hospital via ambulance, he was taken into emergency surgery for internal bleeding. We hoped it was his appendix. But we didn't know anything yet. He was in surgery before any of us found out he was hurt. I just thought maybe he was running late.

Surgery started at 9:45 p.m. By 11:30 p.m. he was out, still on a ventilator. They told us it was his liver. It was mangled they said. They couldn't get blood in him fast enough.

Long story short...he died on April 18, 2010, at 1:30 a.m. I was by his side. It was amazing, sad and miraculous as well.

I will document his 18 day stay here. I need to tell someone and right now I don't want to tell anyone face to face about those 18 days. Instead, I'll do it here.