Monster Truck Show, February 2010

We took our boys to a monster truck show in February 2010 in Lexington, KY. Beside Jack, is Troy's son. I don't want to put up pictures of his son because I don't have permission to do that. Anyway, this is my biggo kid, Jack. Beside him (you can see his feet), is Troy's son and then of course Troy. He has earplugs in and during about the middle of the show he jammed in one in his ear so bad that he used his keys to get them out, to which he looked like a true redneck. Like he could get anymore redneck than being at a monster truck show. We had a great time though!! We bought the boys those checkered flags. Jack still has his.

Funny thing, after this we went to Waffle House to eat. Our boys, who already said they were brothers, sat together. Without talking beforehand, our boys were dressed in polar opposties. His son's shirt was black with white long sleeves. Anyway, before our food came his son looked at me with a very serious face, all four of us stopped talking and he said, "will you be my stepmom?" Troy said that was my proposal. I, of course, said yes. Cutest thing evah!!

Troy and I, New Years Eve 2009

Could it get any more perfect than this?

The end

I have tried to remember but I just can't the week leading up to his death. Everything is meshing into one...him coding, his surgeries. I know he had 5 total (I think). He opened his eyes but he was never really responsive. He would turn his head toward you if you talked loud enough and pushed on him a little. He was sick....very, very sick.

This is going to be Friday and Saturday...his last two days that he was alive.

Friday, April 16th, 2010.

I worked this day like always because he was having a stable day. Not a bad day, but not a great day, but he was stable. Jack's dad was coming down to see him for the day and night. He was going to leave the next morning on the 17th. Brett got there and I went to the hospital around 6 that evening. The plan was for me to go there until 8 or so and then my friends were taking me somewhere. I just needed a little break. I was tired..I think I was anyway. I don't really remember. At about 8 I went and sat in Troys room with my Kindle. It was dimly lit in his room, the TV was on but no sound. I was reading. He was...well he was resting. Then I saw his heart rate go from 90, which was about his average, t0 126 very fast. I called the nurses in and called his mom. The nurse, who had never been on his case, came in and was just kind of baffled. She checked his feeding tube, and went to flush the line. I saw dark red, what I thought was blood and possibly bile on her hands when she backed away. That wasn't good. It also had a strange odor about it. She called in a doctor.

Let me back up. Saturday, April 17th, was Thunder Over Louisville so a lot of the docs were residents, a lot of the nurses were PRN nurses who didn't really know his case.

They ran some tests and told us he possibly could have had a heart attack, but there was no way of knowing. I really don't know that, but I'm not a doctor. That resident could not give us any answers other than his EKG showed signs of a heart attack, but his heart is now okay (even though his rate was in the 110s now). It was slowly coming down.

I called and cancelled with my friends, and the amazing people they are they showed up with chips and salsa. About midnight I felt it was safe to leave. I left with my friends and went to a bar. A freaking bar. The song Superman came on as we were leaving at 3 a.m. I was feeling the alcohol, mostly because I hadn't been eating much. I had to stay at my sisters because my ex-husband was staying at my house with our son until the next morning. My sister was out of town so I went to her place and crawled in bed. Troys mom called me at 6 a.m. and said he had a bad night. To be honest, I think I was still buzzing. That completely woke me up. I took a quick shower, dressed in a pair of dark jeans, and a seafoam green cableknight sweater with white Nike shox. I had my pearls in my ears and a white March of Dimes t-shirt under the sweater. Why do I remember that? I do remember I didn't wash my hair and I pulled it up. I did swipe on some mascara and some concealer.

I get to the hospital and I go in his room. He's okay for now, but he's just...I don't know something was different. He became a little more stable as in vital signs. Late afternoon a family friend brought in a crockpot of beef stew and some drinks. It tasted so good. I remember that ICU waiting room was so full. There was bad news all day the day before for family in there. A few familys we had grown close to.

I watched from Troys room as people were walking downtown getting ready for Thunder. It's an all day event. Troy, myself and our boys were supposed to be there. He even wrote it on his calendar. Later that evening people were coming into the waiting room, people we think weren't from our floor but trying to get a good view of the fireworks. The waiting room was the best view you could get. They moved us to a little room beside the waiting room with no windows, one table, a phone and thats about it. We didn't really like it.

His mom and I were outside the waiting room talking about what may happen when the doctor came out and told us Troy was septic, however they expected it. He had been septic before, but dialysis helped and he was on dialysis the night before but the line clotted off. They were supposed to restart dialysis that night, but a dialysis nurse has to start it, however, the line was clotted off, not his blood but the lines from the machine had clotted. What he needed was a new line started in the neck, but he was still bleeding and not clotting. It just wasn't safe enough to start a line there. however, at this point the safest thing to do was start a new line and start dialysis again in the morning.

They did that, got it started and he was still okay. When they did that they ran more labs. At around 7:30 his mom and I were in his room. I remember her and I just had a laugh about her putting the gloves on backwards. We were, at that point, slap happy and thought he would still be okay. He had to. He had been alive for 17 days so far. This man shouldn't have made it to the hospital and he had made it 17 days. He, at this point, had recieved over 300 blood products.

The doctor came and took us out of his room. She told us his liver had completely failed. The transplant team had been in earlier and said he wouldn't survive a transplant. He also eventually would need a kidney transplant. However, dialysis helps kidneys. nothing helps the liver. His liver was so mangled, still slightly bleeding and he had less than half of it. she called the transplant team again. they said no. We had less than 24 hours.

We made phone calls, we cried, we hugged, we sat by his bedside waiting. How do you WAIT for someone to die? Then what...go home? But we did. we sat and waited. His mom never left his side. He was, at that point, completely unresponsive. His eyes were fixed and dilated. He was actually already gone, but the meds were keeping him alive. His mom, stepdad and I agreed, don't remove anything but don't give him anything else. We were still on the fence about resuscitating him. His liver levels had gone so high that he was essentially gone. he had no head trauma...you don't expect that. you don't expect someone to be "gone" when there is no head trauma.

His friends came in, they sat in the waiting room and then the fireworks started. I was in his room every 20 minutes for 5 to 10 minutes at a time. Other family had to go in and see him. The firework noises...ugh, I just couldn't look. The one time I did look a firework burst into a heart. I felt people staring at me. I couldn't look at anyone.

Some friends left. They didn't want to be there. That is totally understandable. But I couldn't leave. Around midnight I walked back into the ICU and his nurse sat with me while his mom was in his room. She was sleeping with her head against his bedrail holding his hand. The nurse told me that it wouldn't be much longer. His bottom number on his blood pressure was staying around 38. His heart rate was great, but when his BP number goes below 15, his heart would go next. He also hadn't been recieving enough oxygen. His oxygen saturation was anywhere between 48% to 98%. We thought we had 24 hours. We thought it would be the next day. We also thought, no hoped, that he would make it. He had surprised us before.

I walk in his room, sat on the other side of his bed and waited. When I saw his bottom number of his BP down to 20 I woke his mom and said it was almost time. We held his hands, we talked to him, I kissed him. At this point we were in gloves and a gown...I took mine off. I needed to touch his skin, kiss his cheek, kiss his hands. He was getting ready to code. The doctors and nurses walked in with a crash cart. His mom, stepdad and I didn't know what to do. She looked at me, I looked at her and we just kept holding his hand. The room was full. His aunts, uncles, half brother, dad, cousins and a few friends were right at the door.

It was the most miraculous thing I had ever seen. He was a Christian. I watched a man leave this world and see Jesus. I put my hand on my chest and I felt his heart stop beating, I saw him continue breathing after they turned off the vent and then I felt his chest go still. On April 18, Troy died while I held his hand. I told him to take care of my daughter and that I will see him soon.

I miss him so much. I love him...I will always love him. I think of him every single day. but how lucky I am that he picked me to be with him the rest of his life.

I'm sure I have left out some stuff, I just can't remember everything. I will...in time.

November 12 - His birthday

Gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

October 17, 2009

I want to go back for a bit....today is our one year anniversary, well would be. God I miss him. I don't want to have to think about dating, but yet I am thinking about it. I have to move on sometime. He moved on. Why can't I? I don't want to be thinking about this, I want to be making reservations at The Melting Pot like we had planned. Our first date....we met at a mexican restaurant in Louisville. El Nopal..one of my faves. I remember what I wore. White tank top under a black top, a reddish necklace, the jeans I am wearing now and red shoes and my black jacket. He wore his Echo hoodie, a black metallica t-shirt, jeans and his tennis shoes. He pulled up in his black Honda. He hugged me and smiled, said it was nice to officially meet me.

He took his jacket off before we went into the restaurant. I looked and thought he had full sleeve tattoos. When we got in the light I discovered it was hair. HA! I didn't tell him that until this past March. He laughed.

We sat in the restaurant and we talked and laughed forever. I knew it right then...he was the one. I just knew it. It was perfect...absolutely perfect. I had never ever felt that way before. It was just....I can't describe it. He was the one. I was excited for our next date and our first one hadn't even ended. We ordered our food and talked the entire time.

I invited him back to my place. We get there and he laughs and tells me that he texted his buddy my license plate number...just in case I tried to sell his kidney. HA! We watched Night of the Living Dead. Great movie. He didn't leave until 2 a.m.

I can't believe we would be celebrating a year. God, I just want him back. I want to be in Louisville, planning our day out, spending the night with him. Instead he's not here. I just want him to come back.

April 8, 2010

Shockingly...today was a stable day after he had coded the previous day. He was still on diaylsis, but stable for his condition. The dialysis had worked and his heart was still very healthy. It was the one thing that was helping was the fact that he had no head trauma and his heart was healthy. I was at the hospital some of the day, but he was stable so I worked. Later on that evening he opened his eyes. He never really closed them again because of the paralytics, but he opened his eyes. It was absolutely amazing. It was at this time on FB that I said I was certain I was dating Superman, and it kind of stuck. Superman was what he was referred to by so many people. Funny thing is that he wasn't really a fan of Superman, but he sure was proving everybody wrong. Also, it was at this point that we thought he would make it.

They would never let him fully wake up because his abdomen was open again and waking up a patient like that, could lead them into trying to get up and pull of their wires off. I don't think he was ever fully aware of what was going on.

It was also on this night that I got to see his son for the first time since the third weekend in March. He was just told about his dads accident the day before. He is 7...I don't quite understand why he wasn't told, but I'm not his mother. Lord knows, Jack and I missed that kid.

BTW, I hate this part of the blog. Things were getting so good. It's always worse before it gets better...but then its always better before it gets worse.

Until next time,

Kel

April 7, 2010

Wednesday. Wednesday I was going on very little sleep. Since he coded the night before I stay at the hospital until 4:30 a.m. Once home I didn't sleep well. I was back at the hospital at 8:30 ths next morning. He had been on dialysis all night...but all night meant he made it. He was still on dialysis and already they had taken of 3 liters of fluid. He was so swollen the night before. His vent-tube in his mouth where they had tied it down, the string could barely be seen because he was so swollen. He was also, at this point on, pressor medications. These were to keep his blood pressure up. They only make five of these types of medicines...he was on three. We needed him down to one. We didn't want to get to five or even four. That was too risky for his body....and it meant we were out of options for him. I posted on FB that I needed prayers that he gets off at least two of these.

Also on this date a friend from church made the page on facebook called Pray for Troy. She asked me for permission first....I can't thank her enough. There were over 1000 members on that site by the 5th day of it being up. They didn't know him. They either knew him, were friends of friends or complete strangers. Amazing I tell you...amazing. Within six hours of me asking for prayer to get him to down to one pressor......he was on one pressor. Amazing huh. I do believe in the power of prayer...and in miracles.

Wednesday......stable for his condition, but still alive.

Until next time,

Troy's girl.

April 6, 2010

Tuesday...Tuesday was a stressful day. He came through the surgery decent enough. They were not able to place the tracheotomy, but he had a feeding tube and most of his stomach was closed. Also, his kidneys weren't working. It was just too much stress for his body. He became very, very swollen as well. The good thing about placing the feeding tube was that the nutrients in his food would help the liver to reginerate. Remember, his liver was very small and very damaged, but so far it was doing an okay job. I worked this day and Jack was with my family. My parents were still in town. That eveing around 6:30 I left. I went to my sisters for dinner with my mom, dad, sister and Jack. We had fried pork chops, potatoes of some sort and I'm sure much more. As soon as I sat down, filled them in the day and Troys condition, I get a call from his best friend who was at the hospital. It went like this.

Kelly: "Hello"
Keith: "Hey Kel, do you know?"
Kelly: "Do I know what?"
Keith: "He coded."
Kelly: "What...is he back?"
Keith: "Yeah, he's back but they don't know what caused it."

I hung and I was leaving. My family wanted to drive me, but I knew if I didn't drive myself I would feel like I was going much faster. I have no idea how I drove to the hospital without crying. I just knew I had to get there. Its amazing what you do in times of crisis.

I run in the hospital, his coworker was standing outside of the ICU, she took my purse and back I went. I went into his room and there was his mom, a few uncles and his friend Keith. Everyone was crying. I thought he was gone, but I look and in fact his cheset is still moving. They really couldn't tell us why he coded. Ever so slowly his heart rate just dropped and he flatlined. Around 2 minutes later they got him back. They push us all out of the room trying to make an assessment. At 11 p.m., after blood work and many tests they find that he is septic. His kidneys weren't pushing out the bad and the kidneys were having a hard time processing all of this new blood. Also, his blood pressure wasn't staying up now. They said to prepare ourselves. HA! Prepare yourself? How do you even begin to do that. When I came out of his room there were so many people there. My sister and dad, my neighbor, my friends, his friends, his coworkers. Amazing....absolutely amazing.

The plan was to open his stomach up, check for any perforations, try to place a line for dialysis and put him on some pressors. By midnight this was all done. They were scared he wouldn't make it through these few small, bed-side proceduresl, but he did. Our minds were at rest a little, the dialysis was started. I stayed at the hospital until 4:30 a.m. I want to make sure he wouldn't code again before I went home and went to bed. I took off work the next day and just went to the hospital once I got up 4 hours later. Wednesday was a "stable as you can get day." Wednesday he was alive.

April 5, 2010

Monday....Oh Monday, how I love you. This is the day that we got some good news and obviously we knew that you would make it....at least for now. They were going to attempt to put the bowel back in, put in a feeding tube and a tracheotomy. We got two out of three. Surgery was scheduled for that morning and we were prepared. The night before, the found him stablel enough to do a CT without contrast. At this point they were not able to assess other damage to his body. The liver was the main problem and thats what we focused on. We had no idea if he had any other broken bones. They were able to do a bedside scan and discovered everything from below the pelvis was fine. No broken bones. With the CT they did find that he had a small break in his back, but nothing to cause any problems. Head was fine, neck was fine, everything was fine...except that tiny break in his back.

Monday he goes for surgery. After a while they come back out, they were able to put in 60% of his bowel, but he was swollen so the other 40% would have to wait. They were able to put in a feeding tube so he could start getting some nutrition and with these feeds, they put in a liver vitamin type of thing that would help his liver regenerate. Remember, he only a little under half of a liver that was damaged and still bleeding a little. Also he was clotting on his own and keeping his blood pressure up. They did tell us that in a year or so he will need a hernia repair because the bowel had been pushed up above his diaphragm, which would make him a little uncomfortable, but it is repariable. Just the fact that they were talking a year later made us realize he was going to do great!

During the surgery they tried to get his out of rhythm heart back into rhythm so they stopped his heart. However, it took four minutes to bring him back, meds and finally the paddles brought him back. His heart was the best thing we had, we couldn't let that go, but it was working overtime. At this time he had over 200 blood products. Whats amazing is he the only person in that hospital to have recieved over 100 blood products and lived longer than 24 hours. The body has a hard time accepting all of this new blood, processing it is a huge deal and with a damaged liver, this was a miracle in itself.

His kidneys were still working well. woohooo for healthy kidneys.

Next starts the process of trying to wake him up a little. Anytime someone has a partial open abdomen they don't allow them to fully wake up until the stomach is closed, but to have them start to respond...how amazing would that be.

Until next time,

Kelly

April 4, 2010

Sunday.....Sunday was just a stable day. He was stable for his condition, but not stable enough for anything else. We had plans for Monday. Surgery, try to put his bowel back in his stomach, put in a feeding tube and possibly a trach. So for today we waited. I was in his room most of the day. Thankfully, my parents were in town with Jack I think. I cannot remember much of this day. I just knew that Jack was taken care of. I also knew that I was growing a bond with his mom...an even stronger bond. So her and I sat and talked about the decisions, asked the doctors questions, how could we help him. Always her and I....always.

I left that night knowing I would be back tomorrow and so would he. Until then, I prayed and I asked for prayers on FB.

Jack was on spring break, he was going to see family in Ashland. Thank God for family. Thank God for answered prayers.

April 3, 2010

I don't remember much from this date. I hadn't really left the hospital at this point nor had I slept. I was up for 48 hours without about a 20 minute nap in there. There was no way I was sleeping, not like I could anyway. Troy was still in outpatient surgery at this time with the hopes of getting him moved to SICU (surgical intensive care unit). He would need more surgery, but we were just happy he had made it this far. He had been alive for 48 hours since his accident. That was huge to us!!

This was also saturday night...the night before Easter. I had to go home and be with Jack, but thankfully Troy was in ICU where he had his own nurse. His mom never left the hospital. She had set up camp there and was there every minute.

After being moved Troy had a bronchoscopy on this day. They found what they thought was a polyp in his lungs. Come to find out it was a blood clot in his lungs. His lungs were severely bruised and he was starting to get pneumonia, which is normal with a person on a ventilator. Also by this date he had recieved over 200 units of blood products, including blood, plasma and platelets. This was causing his kidneys to work very hard but they were still working. His liver was still working.

His friends from college were still in town. Thank God for those friends. I probably leaned on them way too much, when now I look back and realize they knew him longer...they needed to lean on me.

FB became a story for everyone to follow. I had over 100 new friends by this date...all following along in this "story." They were definitely prayer warriors. It gave me comfort knowing that someone was stopping in the middle of their day and praying.

I slept so hard this night. Jack woke up to the Easter bunny and things were as normal as they could be at home. I don't remember much. I'm sure this will come back just as my daughters life story comes back in pieces. I tend to remember more and more year by year. When I remember I will post.

Until next time,

Kelly

April 2, 2010

April 2 is fuzzy...most of the 18 days is still fuzzy. I'm sure I will remember more at a later day.

April 2nd...started at midnight. He was still in recovery. They told us he may require another surgery, but were afraid that his heart couldn't handle it. He may not survive a second surgery...or a third...or a fourth....or a fifth. They left his abdomen open so they could get to his liver. His liver was bleeding fairly bad. They were squeezing blood in as fast as they could. We were allowed to see him at any time. He was still in outpatient surgery...he was too unstable to move and they needed immediate access to the OR. At 1:30 a.m. they come and tell us they need to try to tie off some more bleeders on his liver. It was a wait and see and mostly a hope and prayer game. We told him goodbye...they told us to prepare. 3 a.m. came and he survived. They were able to tie off some more bleeders, but the liver is so sensitive. It's like a big blob of blood vessels. You touch it and it would bleed. He was still unstable, maybe a little better than before. People arrived somewhere around 1:30 or so...some of his college friends came in town. These friends I had just met. They are now some of my best friends. His mom and I.....we were a team. We still are. She leaned on me, I leaned on her.

At 7 a.m. I had to leave to take my son to school. Thankful for wonderful friends and neighbors, they sat with him the entire night. I went home, got him ready and to school, took a shower and went back to the hospital. I walked in at 9:30 a.m. There were so many people in outpatient surgery. I walked in his mom and family were in a swarm of other people. I was confused....thought he had died. It was his coworkers. I had not met most of them yet. I walk in and thought the love of my life had died, but no....he was going in for a third surgery. They felt they could tie more bleeders off. This, I felt, would be our last chance. I met his work family and that is just what they are....a work family.

Around 12 p.m. a person comes out and asks for three specific people. At this time his entire family was there, his ex-wife and her family and my friends and my sister. They ask for his mom, his aunt and me. This can't be good I thought. He was dead. I just knew it. They took us into a room and a chaplain walks in. Not a doctor, not a nurse...a chaplain. I don't think I have ever had that feeling in the world. It's so hard to even describe the panic I felt. Finally, in walk three doctors. His main trauma doctor and two more. The middle doctor spoke directly at me. He was still alive...he was much more stable. To make him stable they had to remove over half of his damaged liver but his kidneys were working. He was doing much better. He was still bleeding but not requiring so much blood. At this point he was up to receiving approximately 70+ blood products (blood, plasma, platelets). We were allowed to see him. He was getting very, very swollen at this point. His eyes were still moving under his eyelids. That was a good sign.

The goal was to keep him stable. Around 3 that afternoon they told us they needed to close the doors so other patients could get some rest. We would be allowed to see him in intervals. Its at this time that I don't remember much. My parents came in town...a great friend of mine brought Starbucks with caffeine. Best stuff ever. That evening around 10 in walks my best friend from high school. This chick, this woman....amazing. She is my age (30) and on her third husband. She divorced her first and her second husband passed away after 8 months of marriage to him. He was 29, she was 26. I remember talking to Troys aunt...and I see my friend walk off of the elevator. I'm pretty sure I ran to her and hugged her and cried. If anyone got it, she did. I hated that she got it. This girl just drove 3 hours to be with me.

My friend stayed with at the hospital the entire night. I slept. I had been up going on 48 hours. She sat and watched the door waiting for someone to come out. Troys friends had went and ate and came back. They stayed at his house with his other friend and roommate. They would be back in the morning. A woman comes out about 3 a.m. to tell us his surgery is going well. Surgery? What surgery? His mom and I panic. We demand to see him. Screw whatever else they need to do, we needed to see him. We hadn't seen him for hours. He was not in surgery...another patient was.

The plan was for him to go to surgical ICU the next day. We were just thankful for the 48 hours we had.

Until next time,

Kelly

April 1, 2010

I love April fool's day. Always have. I know its not a hoilday but to me it is. Its a day where I get to play pranks and jokes and its funny...not annoying like my usual. I got Troy with a prank about 9:30 that morning and all throughout the day we pranked back and forth. We both mentioned this was the best day ever. April 1st, was also a Thursday. Thursdays were usually our day during the week. He didn't have his son at all on Thursdays and Jack went to bed early, however, this Thursday he was going to help his mom move a few things. Things changed, that got cancelled so he asked if I wanted to hang out like usual. Of course I did. This was about 4:30. About 5:30 he called me. Funny thing is we hardly ever talk on the phone. I'm not a phone talker and neither is he so we usually text. But he called me about 5:30, told me his plans for the evening. Get on his motorcycle, go to his friends to get an ipod and then he would be over to my place after a short ride. I figured he would be at my house no later than 9 p.m. I also told him the joking wasn't over yet. He told me, "I love you babe." Of course I told him I loved him too. We had been saying that to each other since January.

Jack and I went and had mexican for dinner and I got my eyebrows waxed. Troy was texting me when he was at his friends house. This was about 6:30. By 8:30, after putting Jack to bed I figured he would be here at any minute. 9 o'clock rolls around and I start to figure, well maybe he went to get his car so I text him and I call him. At 9:30, after me calling him so much, the ER in our trauma hospital picks up. They tell me he is critical. They tell me I should get there ASAP. They tell me he is going into surgery now. I figured it was his leg or some orthopedic problem. I knew nothing, just that he got hit while on his bike about 3 exits from my house.

I find a neighbor to sit with my son, who is still asleep, and I head downtown. I don't get to see him, no one does. By the time his mom and aunt got there he was already in surgery. They hug me, tell me they know nothing either. This was now 10 p.m.

They come out at 11:30...its not good. This could be fatal. It was his liver. His ribs broke and mangled his liver. They couldn't get the bleeding stopped. They were trying to repair his liver, but the liver is so pliable they can't do too much. It's a wait and see game. We need him to clot, but his body was in shock. We were allowed to see him.

I saw him...his mom and I together saw him first. He was on a ventilator, he had an open abdomen because they may need to get to his liver for a second surgery and this was the best option. They were working on him, meaning they were squeezing blood into him as fast as they could but he just kept losing it. Thankfully, we could see his eyes moving under his eyelids, he was making urine. We just needed him to clot and stop bleeding. He was already starting to get swollen.

They told us if he would need another surgery in the next few hours he may not make it. His heart was working so hard to pump all of this blood, new blood. It was a wait and see game. We couldn't stay long in his room, which actually wasn't a room at all. He was in outpatient surgery because he was considered too unstable to move anywhere and the operating room was close by.

Until next time,

Kelly

Where am I going...how did I get here.

Long time no see. Life happening...life changes, you know. Last I updated I was divorced. Well, I'm still divorced, but I guess I'm a widow as well. A tragic widow my friend calls me. I met an amazing man. Last October. We clicked. It was perfect. Our boys said they were stepbrothers already. His son asked me to be his stepmom in February...that was my proposal T said.

April 1, 2010...my favorite day ever. April Fools Day. Plans had changed, T was coming over that night after little B went to bed. T had plans to take a ride on his motorcycle and then was going to come over. He never made. Three exits from the exit to my place, a Ford Ranger hit him. The guy ran over his abdominal area. T was talking and trying to get up at the scene. Once he got the hospital via ambulance, he was taken into emergency surgery for internal bleeding. We hoped it was his appendix. But we didn't know anything yet. He was in surgery before any of us found out he was hurt. I just thought maybe he was running late.

Surgery started at 9:45 p.m. By 11:30 p.m. he was out, still on a ventilator. They told us it was his liver. It was mangled they said. They couldn't get blood in him fast enough.

Long story short...he died on April 18, 2010, at 1:30 a.m. I was by his side. It was amazing, sad and miraculous as well.

I will document his 18 day stay here. I need to tell someone and right now I don't want to tell anyone face to face about those 18 days. Instead, I'll do it here.